I must be traveling through another dimension. I’ve been beamed into a war zone where the Great Lakes are being threatened by approaching armies of Asian carp and there’s no agreement on how — or even if — the battle to prevent an ecosystem defeat. But wait, I must have just entered the final frontier . . . a special place where all wisdom and answers rest . . . where no time is ever wasted on frivolous considerations . . . a chamber of the astute, better known as the state Senate of Minnesota . . . and they’ve passed a surefire way to solve the problem — just rename the fish.
Yes, the state Senate recently voted to rename the fish “invasive carp.” Senator John Hoffman, D-Champlin, spent time promoting the importance of his proposal, claiming the name Asian carp could be offensive to some people from Asian cultures.
Never mind the fact that these carp came from . . . let me guess, Asia? In fact, there is a long tradition of Asian carp in Chinese literature and culture. They’ve been cultivated in aquaculture in China, Vietnam and other Asian countries for more than 1,000 years. They’re the most important freshwater fish species for food and traditional Chinese medicine and are highly regarded as “domesticated Fish.”
I ask you, aside from the waste of lawmakers’ time to consider important issues, how can they strip these carp of their Asian heritage? Don’t carp have rights, too? Why, PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals) has always said fish have rights. Surprisingly, though, PETA has been silent on this one. It’s probably because PETA wants all fish to be renamed “sea kittens” anyway — their thinking is that no one would want to hook a sea kitten (I like mine deep-fried).
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